Gave it my best.

And still I feel 

they think I could have done more.

But sorry.

This is what I can give.

Maybe many years ago I could give more.

But not anymore.

And I'm happy with that.

i am

few clouds.
a loud noise interrupting the quiet.
taste of onion on my mouth.

My cock is small.

Recurring dream

It's about to get cold.

But I had forgotten about winter.

And only have summer clothes.

End. 

I recall your pussy.

I remember its taste.

I can you know.

I can.

Beautiful sunset.

Love you.

You still amaze me.

Makes me calm,

quiet.

Pure.

True.

Some fears fade away.

Like showers on a summer evening.

Then

They appear again

tomorrow.

Fade away

Return.

Like that.

at the hotel

at the hotel.
masturbating.

I dream a lot that I'm going about town barefoot. This is what it's supposed to mean:

"To dream that you are barefoot represents your playful attitudes and relaxed, carefree frame of mind. Alternatively, being barefoot indicates poverty, lack of mobility, or misunderstanding. You have low self-esteem and lack confidence in yourself. Or you may be dealing with issues concerning your self-identity. You are unprepared for what is ahead for you."

noon and I'm at home.
going back to work in a few minutes.
writing a bit.
not thinking too much.
(good thing both)

two glasses of wine
on a Thursday night.
Happy Hour.
letting go.
easing things.
loosening my tongue.
feeling less like hiding.
being real.
feeling right.

with these thoughts
I went in.
and things were fine.
the darkness
was a little less so.
and I keep going.
(it's early still)

it was as I thought it would be.
no more.
but I should have know better.
I should have followed by gut feeling.
why do I always go against my gut feeling?
do I think there's something wrong with me and I can't trust
my heart?
yes,
that's it.
dammit.

placing negative thoughts on hold.
driving them away.
that's all.
so easy, really.

long time no see.
(look at her breasts)
doing fine.
(still looking sexy)
I'm freelancing.
(do I ask her for lunch?)
well, let's get together some day.
(her ass looks good as she walks away)