words can not describe how exhausted I am.

everything was more or less the same....

The aloneness feels soothing.

Kind of soft, if that's a word one can use to describe something like that.

The books, the writings, the photos.

An old song that used to mean so much and now only serves to slightly awaken an old pain.

The silence between the music.

Expectations.

Anxieties.

All gone.

Yes, soft was the correct word.

Must be 25 degrees, he though as he walked home. He had just finished dinner where he had talked with a couple of people. It was the first conversation he had had in two days. He wondered whether they had noticed that. He entered the rundown building where he lived and checked the mail. There were a couple of magazines for him. He walked the stairs to his second floor apartment. He was home. Or what passed for it, he thought. It was warmer. There were 23 days left until he got home, to the warmth of the island and to his friends. But it was still here.
Here where he was alone. He turned on the tv.

haven't written here for a while.
maybe because there is a certain stability in me.
and I usually write when my mind is full of doubt.
and things are kind of clear.

losing my touch.
so I thought.
but not quite.
(still have something)

relativamente tranquilo.
sin pensar mucho.
leyendo.
sobándome la panza un poco.
pero bien.

Where is this heading?

Enjoy the ride please.

Stop the noise.

Stop the thoughts.

There is a reason for this.

But you won't know it until

the sun rises.

Or maybe not even then.

This is me right now,

On the bed.

Naked.

My eyes irritated.

My small cock, limp.

Curtains drawn.

Not tired, but lazy.

Ayer estuve hablando con una amiga sobre este blog. Le dije que nadie lo lee. Y ella me dijo, que ese no era el punto. Que el blog es para mi, no para otros. Y me gustó eso. A ratos cuando escribo o posteo pienso en lo que un lector pensaría. Pero, carajo, esto es anónimo, excepto para par de personas. Pero ese par de personas me conocen muy bien y no le importa ver mi lado oscuro. Saben de mi lios, nada que escribanomponga de foto le va a causar shock.

Así que que libèrate. Haz lo que quieras.

no fue mal esta vez.
no lo hice mal.
todavía me queda algo.
la confianza.
el saber que
a veces la experiencia ayuda.
me siento bien.
y ahora a dar una vuelta.

Anoche dormí mal.

Tristeza.

Impotencia.

No saber qué hacer.

Me duele el alma.

Pero

Sigo.

Trabajo.

Sonrío. 

Trato.