Morning.

Early.

Sun coming out. 

Coffee.

Stroked my cock.

Came on my belly.

Huge load.

Another coffee now.

Here's me.

Not perfect by any means.

My body showing the signs of middle age.

My mind still sharp I think.

I can make you laugh.

Make you think sometimes.

(This is who I am)

At least tonight.

At least.

Saturday's fine.

Especially on a warm day.

Especially when it's sunny.

(And my mind is way beyond the trees 

that sit just beyond the street)

So far.

So far.

It's three o'clock.

It's fine.

Rambling as usual.

And the thing is 

I'm happy.

And horny.

And it's fine.

as I write this
I'm not here.
I'm
traveling.
(not to a place you know)
simply
visiting
the storm that is forming outside.
can you see it?
can you smell it?

notwithstanding
the thoughts I'm having.
the memories
that
come
(sometimes late at night)
the world
(or my world, maybe)
is telling me
it's fine.
the
thoughts
linger.
notwithstanding
my hands
on the table.
(looking out)
looking outside.

tonight I don't care.
fuck the world.
fuck this.
fuck that.
it's fine.
who cares?
fuck my ass
if you want.
with a dildo.
with a strap-on.
with a cock.
go ahead.
I can take
what you have.

hotel room

hotel rooms
(I get horny in them)

stroking my cock
to bisexual porn.
with two glasses of wine in me.
used to feel guilty about things like that.
but I don't anymore.
watching the girl and the guy.
and the two guys too.
it's all ok.
it's all right.
(tonight it is)

a promise to be happy.
to look at the bright side.
keeping it.

it's fine.
I get it.
and I'm fine with it.
once upon a time
I would have been
devastated.
but not now.
the years
do that.
they make you realize
what matters
and what doesn't.
and it's easy.
just like that.
so easy.
it's so easy.

it's not for me anymore.
(not like it used to)
I get tired
I get bored.
I don't believe the bullshit anymore.
I can do it for a while,
but knowing it won't go on for long.
(I know)

a bit

a glass of wine.
a bit of music.
and everything is fine.