Sorry for being like this.
For treating so badly.
I am sorry.
Will you forgive me?
(I do, i do)

Waking up.
Everything is quiet.
My mind is not.

Stop it.
Stop.
Make it go away.
Laugh.
Laugh.
Smile.
It's funny.
It is.

You can't hold two thoughts in your mind at the same time.
So why not block the negative thoughts by filling your head with happy ones?
Is is that easy?
Maybe it is.
Maybe.

Smiling through it all.
Maybe that's the way to go about it.
(Like that)

This

The sun was sort of shining and I could peek it through the curtains.
I was ready for the day.
Kind of smiling.
And my cock was hard.
I stroked it a bit, but that was that.
And I said to myself,
This is it.
This is all.
No sort of.
No kind of.
This sun. This cock. This day.

Move slowly.
That slow. Yes.
That slow.

Hasta que un día me de cuenta que soy un tonto que no supo hacer lo que debió haber hecho.

The fears are always there, you see.
Best you can do is make them go away.
Tell them to go to hell,
Or to a place far away from my mind.
Which is a place i have yet to find.

Shhhhh

Silencio.
Bueno quizás no completo.
Pero casi sí.
Mi respiración.
Mis pensamientos.
Al menos hoy no son auto destructivos.
Son sólo palabras sueltas.
Y eso es algo, no?

sigo
camino.
y no peleo.
(no lo hago)

lo mira como
quien ya aburre.
el perro pasa por el lado
y parece que huele algo.
la mesera con el cabello corto
me sonríe.
hace calor
y tengo deseos de una batida.
el viejito que siempre se sienta en el mismo lugar
trata de hablar con la cuarentona
de mil cirugías.
la mesera me pregunta que quiero
y le digo.
le miro las nalgas un poco al alejarse.
se nubla el cielo.
y ya son las nueve de la mañana.